It had been a monstrously busy day and we had seen so many things. You had a struggle with the Pharisees and your own family hadn't even understood what you were called to be doing (not that any of us understood that anyway). You healed all kinds of sick and you told a whole bunch of stories about the Kingdom of God (whatever that is) and as the day came near to ending the people still pressed you for more. Finally you said, "Let's go to the other side of the lake" and we could see the exhaustion in your eyes. The fishermen among us knew their way around a boat much more than I did so I tried to stay out of the way and soon we were under sail and underway. One of the problems was that we left in a hurry though. We had to hope we could land in some little cove on the other side so that we could go into a town and get some food, we didn't bring anything.
The lake (why do some call this a Sea anyway?) was really quiet and the sunset followed by starry skies was a beautiful thing to behold. You were so tired that you fell asleep in the stern while we sat together and spoke softly of all the things we had seen lately. The idyllic scene was not to remain though. Pretty soon a wild wind swooped down upon us and we were soon engulfed in a cyclonic storm that heaved the sea around like we were in the middle of an earthquake. The waves lashed up and over the sides of the boat so that it was already filling. I'm no good trying to help with sails so I tried to bail water out with my hands but it was coming in in buckets while I threw out handfuls.
and you slept.
Our world crashed around us and you were sleeping. I was beyond frightened, I don't belong on the water to begin with, I can barely swim ... and you slept. I was the first to say, "Wake Him up" but Simon didn't seem as scared as me and James looked only a bit worried. John came along beside me to try and calm me a little, but it didn't help. Then Andrew lost complete control of the sail and I must've gone straight white as a sheet (which is a considerable thing because I have a great tan). I could tell they loved Him and they didn't want to wake Him, but I was panicking and that spreads through a small group faster than a great secret.
We forgot who He was. We forgot what we had seen not only that day but also for the many days preceding it. Instead we rushed to wake the Lord of all things, the waker, the giver, the calmer.
Don't you care? Can't you see my world falling from around my ears? Do you see this wind and those waves? I'm dying here and you don't seem to care or to notice.
You said, "Why are you afraid Ian? Do you not realize who I am? Is the Lord of all things swamped by your petty battles and disagreements? Where is your faith? What have you seen and what do you believe you will continue to see?"
Peace be still and it was.
What kind of man am I following? He takes my apprehension, my anxiety, my fear and He brings the light of comprehension to it. This isn't just any man like the rest in this boat are and I wonder if I'm the one who has been asleep this entire time.
Lead on my Christ. I'm awake and I'll try to pay attention.
Monday, October 5, 2009
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Happy Anniversary to me!
i actually don't know what i want to do with this idea. technically i passed my 2nd anniversary of this blog on Sep 30, but it's not the same either. originally this was strictly a fantasy hockey blog and i blogged about hockey for several months before getting noticed by a hockey website. i moved the fantasy hockey thing over to hockeyanalysis.com and i kept the name, because i liked the name. after a while i decided i had more to say so i resurrected this blog so that i could delve into other issues.
occasionally someone from the hockey history happens across this blog. in fact if you did a google search for shallowfrozenwater you'd see some hockey stuff right up front and you'd be chanelled over here if you clicked on it. i figure that someone might just be a bit surprised at the subject matter if they came here ever since i decided to speak up on more subjects than just hockey.
if you're here for hockey ... you'll still be able to see some of that, but mostly i have a higher mindset on most days around here. you're welcome to browse all you want though. you might just find more about me here than you would over at my hockey blog anyway. if you don't want to browse then be blessed on your journey anyway, and there's a link to my hockey blog over on the right there.
Happy Avinursary. what? that's how i say it.
occasionally someone from the hockey history happens across this blog. in fact if you did a google search for shallowfrozenwater you'd see some hockey stuff right up front and you'd be chanelled over here if you clicked on it. i figure that someone might just be a bit surprised at the subject matter if they came here ever since i decided to speak up on more subjects than just hockey.
if you're here for hockey ... you'll still be able to see some of that, but mostly i have a higher mindset on most days around here. you're welcome to browse all you want though. you might just find more about me here than you would over at my hockey blog anyway. if you don't want to browse then be blessed on your journey anyway, and there's a link to my hockey blog over on the right there.
Happy Avinursary. what? that's how i say it.
Friday, October 2, 2009
flags of the world
this flag showed up on my LiveTraffic Feed and i'm pretty good with flags, but i don't have a clue what this one is.
any wisdom for me out there?
my other religion is HOCKEY!
i'm the biggest hockey fan you know, seriously. except you Joel, you're the biggest hockey fan you know. if you read this then you may not know that i also write for 3 (count 'em, 3) sports websites; 2 for hockey and 1 for baseball. they all are on the topic of fantasy sports ... which some of you may think is too geeky a topic for you to delve into, even with a trained professional like myself. it's not though and there's plenty for you to learn in this area. if you're in a fantasy hockey pool (or a baseball pool during baseball season) then you can get some help with your team here or here for baseball (but i'm not the only guy writing on either site so you'd have to search a bit for my work). the best part of the deal is that you'd be dealing with me, which may be a curse or a blessing, you decide.
my Leafs lost in overtime to start off their season last night. i'm bummed about it but i'm extra bummed because they lost to the dreaded Montreal Canadiens after having a 3-2 lead in the 3rd. you see, i have 2 favourite hockey teams; the Toronto Maple Leafs and anyone playing the Montreal Canadiens. oh well.
why do i mention all of this? because it's a part of me and i'm jazzed up by the start of hockey season. it's not really a "spiritual discussion" and it's certainly a sport that focuses on violence too much but there's speed, beauty and grace in that game that many people just don't get. you may consider this a wart on my soul but in the end i'll just call it a beauty mark and move on.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
invisiblemanitis
this was originally found here.
i actually heard a song on Christian radio that spoke something to me last week, it talked about pretending not to see the homeless guy on the street for the 21st time that day. this man (or woman, or child) is everywhere ... and we don't see him. i'm a welfare worker and i don't always see him. i'm looking for him but i don't really know what to do to help him. it's a complex issue.
is my response simply to be merciful? does that mean i should be emptying my pockets of change for him or should i walk with him to the shelter? maybe both? is that enough?
i'm not trying nor could i ever be the voice of God inside your head and my own confusion on the issue doesnt instill much confidence for what i'm supposed to do, but i want to be merciful.
i'm as willing as the "next" Christian to be friendly to the poor that comes across my path, but is that enough? some argue that showing respect for the man standing in front of you is all that person desires but what of the bigger picture? what of the traps and barriers in his life that keeps him in the same cycles?
i don't know, i just don't know.
open my eyes. help me see the Invisible man. you don't have to go to Calcutta or the pool of Siloam to find someone who needs you.
open your eyes and respect who you see, whatever that means to you then act on that.
Monday, September 28, 2009
blessed be the hands
one of my favourite blogs to read is Subversive Influence because he's right here in the same town that i'm in, we run in some of the same common circles and yet we've never met (that i know of) so there's still some mystery attached to him. Brother Maynard runs that blog and regularly inspires me with the stuff he puts up there.
in this situation he's got me thinking about hands and i've always been fascinated by hands because they do so much. i long for my hands to be blessed in the things that they do and i pray that they are. i'm rendered speechless by stuff like this because i know that it'd give me pause and probably make me weepy if we did a blessing like this in our community.
we should probably do that though.
Blessed be the work of your hands — Holy God.
You hold us in your hands.
Blessed be the hands that have touched life.
Blessed be the hands that have nurtured creativity.
Blessed be the hands that have held pain.
Blessed be the hands that have embraced with passion.
Blessed be the hands that have closed in anger.
Blessed be the hands that have planted new seeds.
Blessed be the hands that have harvested ripe fields.
Blessed be the hands that have cleaned, washed, and scrubbed.
Blessed be the hands that have become wrinkled with years.
Blessed be the hands that are scarred from doing justice.
Blessed be the hands that have reached out and been received.
Blessed be the hands that feed those who are hungry.
Blessed be the hands that comfort the dying and touch the dead.
Blessed be the hands that greet strangers.
Blessed be the hands that guide the young.
Blessed be these hands — for they are the work of Your hands.
Go in peace. Serve the Lord.
Thanks be to God.
in this situation he's got me thinking about hands and i've always been fascinated by hands because they do so much. i long for my hands to be blessed in the things that they do and i pray that they are. i'm rendered speechless by stuff like this because i know that it'd give me pause and probably make me weepy if we did a blessing like this in our community.
we should probably do that though.
Blessed be the work of your hands — Holy God.
You hold us in your hands.
Blessed be the hands that have touched life.
Blessed be the hands that have nurtured creativity.
Blessed be the hands that have held pain.
Blessed be the hands that have embraced with passion.
Blessed be the hands that have closed in anger.
Blessed be the hands that have planted new seeds.
Blessed be the hands that have harvested ripe fields.
Blessed be the hands that have cleaned, washed, and scrubbed.
Blessed be the hands that have become wrinkled with years.
Blessed be the hands that are scarred from doing justice.
Blessed be the hands that have reached out and been received.
Blessed be the hands that feed those who are hungry.
Blessed be the hands that comfort the dying and touch the dead.
Blessed be the hands that greet strangers.
Blessed be the hands that guide the young.
Blessed be these hands — for they are the work of Your hands.
Go in peace. Serve the Lord.
Thanks be to God.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
the smallest member of the family
my dog's name is Maddie and she's very predictable. when we got her she wasn't predictable at all but after 9 years under our roof we can see some definite characteristics that she's taken from our family, ok she's taken them from me. we named her after my wife's favourite author, Madeline L'Engle.
she's so scared she should be a cat.
any big truck that goes by will cause her to go darting under a table, a chair or between your knees if you happen to be standing in the neighbourhood. most of the time that isn't an issue since most of the truck traffic happens while i'm at work so i don't have to worry much about getting taken out by a low bridge tackle by a 40 pound mutt. however, this issue is the most problematic whenever its stormy outside. she's deathly afraid of thunder and lightning. as a general rule she doesnt come upstairs to the bedrooms in the house so that we don't have to worry so much about dog hair all over the place but when it storms she slinks upstairs because the fear is palatable and can be seen in the way she holds herself. the general rule is that when it storms, Ian sleeps in the basement with the dog. that way she has someone to comfort her and everyone in the house can still get some sleep. our basement is sheltered enough that she can't really see the flashes or hear the roars anymore.
she gets that behaviour from reading me i suspect. when i'm in a bad spiritual space i tend toward fear and depression. i'm a worrier. Maddie serves as a reminder to me that i myself have a buffer from the scary things of life and Abba is willing to go sleep in the basement with me too. then when the thundering stops i can return to my proper place and know that i'm protected throughout. that lightens my heart sometimes so i don't really mind it when i have to go sleep in the basement with my dog, i really need that sometimes too.
i remember how much of a support Maddie was to me when i went through a winter of depression not so many winters ago. she thought we were just going for long walks along the river but i knew that she was supporting me through a scary time.
she can tell time.
we feed Maddie her supper at 7 pm and regularly she shows up wherever i am at 7 pm and she places her head on my knee as if to say, "know what time it is? i do." she's very cute. other times when i'm away at 7 pm so that Wendy feeds her then Maddie still tries to convince me that she hasn't had her supper when i return. we've developed a little phrase saying, "she's had her supper so don't let her lie to you."
i'm a slave to my schedule too. i like things the way that i like them and i don't like to be delayed more than anyone does. structure is comforting to me like it is for many. Maddie likes structure too. we go for our walk in the mornings and we have suppertime at 7pm sharp. she's a master of the puppydog eyes approach to getting what she wants. sometimes i'm a master of that too.
how often do i do things spiritually because that's the way that i do them. i find comfort in keeping it the same and when it's not the same i break out the puppydog eyes to God and i say "uh, do you know what time it is? i do." i'm thankful for the daily graces in my life and for an Abba that really does know what time it is.
she's a popcorn fiend.
i made popcorn this afternoon as i watched some football and my dog turned into a Pavlovian drooling machine as the popcorn popped and later we enjoyed some of it together. there's no way that you can ignore a drooling animal as she leaves little puddles (literally) on the floor next to the couch. don't worry i cleaned it up.
i'm a slave to my own desires too. i'm also a popcorn fiend but there are more things that i can substitute for popcorn in that sentence.
everything in moderation puppy (or Ian). there is much freedom available but don't be a slave to anything. one batch of popcorn is a nice treat but popcorn as a meal won't get you very far at all. i really do believe in freedom for the Christian and i think that Acts 15 is a pivotal moment in church history as a battle between the law and grace caused a turning point in people's lives. i don't want to be a slave to anything so i just have to find some of my own moderation of my freedom amidst all the drooling for my own desires.
sometimes when Maddie is doing something weird i say to my wife, "that's YOUR dog" even though i know that dog belongs to me. there are just so many things that Maddie does that reminds me that we are the same, she and i. they say that dogs and owners begin to look and dress the same, we're opposed to little outfits for our dog but i certainly get that beings living under the same roof begin to show characteristics that bleed directly from the lifeblood behaviour of the alphas already in the home. i've looked for a pic of our pup and unfortunately i have failed to find one, you'll just have to believe that she's a beautiful thing to behold ... she gets that from me too.
she's so scared she should be a cat.
any big truck that goes by will cause her to go darting under a table, a chair or between your knees if you happen to be standing in the neighbourhood. most of the time that isn't an issue since most of the truck traffic happens while i'm at work so i don't have to worry much about getting taken out by a low bridge tackle by a 40 pound mutt. however, this issue is the most problematic whenever its stormy outside. she's deathly afraid of thunder and lightning. as a general rule she doesnt come upstairs to the bedrooms in the house so that we don't have to worry so much about dog hair all over the place but when it storms she slinks upstairs because the fear is palatable and can be seen in the way she holds herself. the general rule is that when it storms, Ian sleeps in the basement with the dog. that way she has someone to comfort her and everyone in the house can still get some sleep. our basement is sheltered enough that she can't really see the flashes or hear the roars anymore.
she gets that behaviour from reading me i suspect. when i'm in a bad spiritual space i tend toward fear and depression. i'm a worrier. Maddie serves as a reminder to me that i myself have a buffer from the scary things of life and Abba is willing to go sleep in the basement with me too. then when the thundering stops i can return to my proper place and know that i'm protected throughout. that lightens my heart sometimes so i don't really mind it when i have to go sleep in the basement with my dog, i really need that sometimes too.
i remember how much of a support Maddie was to me when i went through a winter of depression not so many winters ago. she thought we were just going for long walks along the river but i knew that she was supporting me through a scary time.
she can tell time.
we feed Maddie her supper at 7 pm and regularly she shows up wherever i am at 7 pm and she places her head on my knee as if to say, "know what time it is? i do." she's very cute. other times when i'm away at 7 pm so that Wendy feeds her then Maddie still tries to convince me that she hasn't had her supper when i return. we've developed a little phrase saying, "she's had her supper so don't let her lie to you."
i'm a slave to my schedule too. i like things the way that i like them and i don't like to be delayed more than anyone does. structure is comforting to me like it is for many. Maddie likes structure too. we go for our walk in the mornings and we have suppertime at 7pm sharp. she's a master of the puppydog eyes approach to getting what she wants. sometimes i'm a master of that too.
how often do i do things spiritually because that's the way that i do them. i find comfort in keeping it the same and when it's not the same i break out the puppydog eyes to God and i say "uh, do you know what time it is? i do." i'm thankful for the daily graces in my life and for an Abba that really does know what time it is.
she's a popcorn fiend.
i made popcorn this afternoon as i watched some football and my dog turned into a Pavlovian drooling machine as the popcorn popped and later we enjoyed some of it together. there's no way that you can ignore a drooling animal as she leaves little puddles (literally) on the floor next to the couch. don't worry i cleaned it up.
i'm a slave to my own desires too. i'm also a popcorn fiend but there are more things that i can substitute for popcorn in that sentence.
everything in moderation puppy (or Ian). there is much freedom available but don't be a slave to anything. one batch of popcorn is a nice treat but popcorn as a meal won't get you very far at all. i really do believe in freedom for the Christian and i think that Acts 15 is a pivotal moment in church history as a battle between the law and grace caused a turning point in people's lives. i don't want to be a slave to anything so i just have to find some of my own moderation of my freedom amidst all the drooling for my own desires.
sometimes when Maddie is doing something weird i say to my wife, "that's YOUR dog" even though i know that dog belongs to me. there are just so many things that Maddie does that reminds me that we are the same, she and i. they say that dogs and owners begin to look and dress the same, we're opposed to little outfits for our dog but i certainly get that beings living under the same roof begin to show characteristics that bleed directly from the lifeblood behaviour of the alphas already in the home. i've looked for a pic of our pup and unfortunately i have failed to find one, you'll just have to believe that she's a beautiful thing to behold ... she gets that from me too.
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