how hot is the person next to you?

how hot is the person next to you? don't let that person actually be your partner because we know you already think they're hot otherwise why are you with them? seriously, it's stuff like this that gets me into trouble sometimes because i'm kinda unafraid to ask questions like this. there is definitely a time when you should not be asking that sort of question so if your filter is temporarily off then think for a second before you do ask it.
i got into trouble a few months ago because i didn't let my filter stop me from asking that sort of question. some pics from my football official's association dinner (which i hadn't attended) came around and as i looked at the pics it struck me just how old and fugly my association is. so i sent out an email cracking wise on how we were a bunch of middle aged sourpusses who looked so unnatural in pictures because we didn't smile as a general rule in case our faces would crack. i did make sure to say that i thought all of our dates/partners/girlfriends/wives were beautiful but i couldn't fathom how they ended up with whatever loser they were sitting with.
apparently, that wasn't very "professional". i guess the emails were flying around the executive of our association because i had the audacity to say that middle-aged, overweight, sullen-jowled men who didn't smile was somehow less than appealing to look at. in the end i sent out an email apologizing for the offense if any was taken but i was careful not to apologize for actually saying what i had said. i thought it was funny actually but ... i guess that some don't appreciate it when the elephant in the room is pointed to. it's not like i have any illusions that i'm still the 25 year old stud that i used to be, but i do still have a little game left.
i know i'm not the only one that stuff like this happens to. i'm not. we're all social klutzes if i read my social cues correctly, some are just better at hiding things like that.
so seriously, how hot is the person next to you right now? on a scale of 1 to 10. right now for me? 6.5

as i've aged i've noticed that i don't see very many beautiful people anymore. my opinions of beauty have changed too. for me a REAL woman is one who has lived through the wars of life. 20 something? not a chance. beauty is seen in the scars and hard knocks of life so just because you're pretty doesn't mean you're beautiful. hotness is seen for me in the mishaps while you continue on your journey.
several weeks ago i sat out front of a doctor's office and waited for my wife to come out of an appt and i just people-watched for about 20 minutes. i was just wondering how many beautiful people i could see. some 20 yr old guy walked by with his hat on backward and that "don't mess with me" walk and all i could think about was that he's pretty but not beautiful. some python armed dude rode by on a bike and i thought he probably needed to read more instead of testing how much he could bench ten times in sets of three.
then a woman in her late 40's with salt and pepper hair and a flowing skirt sauntered down the sidewalk. she wasn't anything close to a supermodel but she was absolutely stunning in her presence. she was window shopping and in no particular hurry but i couldn't stop from staring at her for the few seconds she was near the same businesses on a busy Portage Ave afternoon day.
i guess what i'm saying is that presence is HOT. there are women and men in my church community who are just plain hot because they've been through the wars and their presence is such that i love and respect them a great deal. i've never got the idea that grey hair should be dyed, and i don't personally dye my greys because i've earned every single one of those shoots of wisdom. there are women that i know whose wisdom adds to their hotness even though they're already stunning.

want me to think you're hot? have some presence. we all know that we're mostly messed up anyway but at least we can confidently say, "this is me. i'm hot, now deal with it".

another co-worker just returned from his lunch. 7.5