Friday, February 11, 2011

Ephesians 4:14

i'm feeling like i'm tossed about by every emotional wind and wave. there's so little steadfastness, my purposes seem all over the map and i sit in a pool of worry about where my life is going.
i realize i'm taking that verse a little out of context because it's actually talking about people who change their views with every new doctrine that comes along, and that isn't the case for me right now. however, i do feel tossed about by every new thought or sometimes an old thought, sometimes it's a new circumstance or an old argument. definitely tossed about though. definitely tossed about.
i think about things that i should not be considering. i worry about things that have always remained steadfast in my life. i consider drastic changes that scare the hell out of me and i toss around simple questions that turn my world on its ear.
i learned a buddhist meditative prayer this week that i'm quite enjoying.

May I be happy.
May I be healthy.
May I be at ease.
May I be free from harm.

then you draw the circle wider.

May we be happy.
May we be healthy.
May we be at ease.
May we be free from harm.

and you can make the circle as wide as you want as you consider the journey of those around you. i find it ironic that i can dwell on such a peaceful meditation at a time when i'm amidst a storm.

i remain your tossed about friend, desperately plotting hope.


Lisa said...

oh Ian. I continue to pray for you and Wendy. I know the feeling again, right now, of being tossed in a storm, too.

May you know peace and continue to desperately plot hope (I love that line!)

Blessings to you tonight.

shallowfrozenwater said...

i stole that desperately plotting hope line from Brian McLaren.

Lutestring said...

you and your wife are cared about by many people -some of whom you don't even know. Like me. :)

shallowfrozenwater said...

thank you for your comment Lutestring. i've started to read your blog and it'd be nice to be able to comment on occasion if you'll allow it.
i see some of the same struggles ... the human struggle. at any rate, i'm glad you're here and reading.