Monday, May 3, 2010

there's just so much pain out there

if you've read this blog for long you know that i'm a welfare worker ... so i guess i see my own share of pain. it's stressful. pain goes deep.

Christian marriages bust apart in messy ways.
mental health issues lock people into their own worries and worlds.
a child dies.
a longtime friend is sick far beyond what TLC can cure.
people go into the hospital and its not known when or if they'll come out.
a young single mother gets robbed of her groceries and cash coming home to 2 hungry kids.

some of those things are actually happening around me right now. so much pain and so much powerlessness other than to comfort and pray.

someone said to one i love recently, "thank you for loving me just the way i am". that is pure gold. i sat in a party this weekend making small talk about music and life while others were going deep into relationship just by asking "How are you?" and then paying attention for a real answer. it's tough to engage like that. it's tough to live honestly and openly and to allow others the space they need to choose to do the same.
i suspect we all hide our pain and it only comes out best in open relationship.

i once had a Bible college prof say that he had stopped asking people how they were, because in a community setting like a Bible College campus people actually told him how they were. he was finding he didn't have time to hear the answer. that's just sad don't you think?

give words to your pain and show your wounds to those you love around you. part of healing is asking for the support of those who are your support.

Thank you for loving me just the way i am.


Lisa said...

mmm... yes, giving your pain and showing your wounds... been thinking a lot about that this last week or two. thanks for writing this.

Al said...

Ian, I imagine you get more than your share of pain. Most of us get to interact with people when their lives are OK, but your work is always filled with people in need. So you need times when you can be the needy one, at least to unload some of the pain you have picked up from your clients. I hope you have friends that recognize that, and help you unload.

shallowfrozenwater said...

i do have those people Al. thank you for caring enough to make sure of that.

Don Hendricks said...

Thanks for those thoughts Ian. My post today was in a similar vein.