Wednesday, June 29, 2011

the need for affirmation

i need affirmation. i don't like that i need affirmation and yet, i still need affirmation. like Sally Field i long to say "you like me! you really like me!" and i kinda live for those moments. my relationships are full of many folks who obviously like me and i still reach out and ask people to tell me so on a regular basis. it comes off as very needy and i get pretty appalled with myself about this on a regular basis. it goes to some pretty deep self worth issues in me that i'm exploring my way through.

a dear friend of mine is a woman that i work with named Christine. she's very affirming and patient with me but she's moving on to bigger and better things as she takes on a new job after tomorrow. Christine will be moving to another office and there's a good chance that i won't see her again. i'm mourning that loss of relationship today. i've known this was coming for a long time now but there's really no way to prepare for a friend to leave your little social circle.

the 12 yr old insecure Ian mourns the loss of a friendship and once again questions his need for affirmation.

i try to be as encouraging as i can be. it gets me in trouble sometimes because it can easily be seen as flirty to the opposite sex. it's not about flirtation though, it's about my need for affirmation. in many ways i encourage because i want to be encouraged. i bless because i long to be blessed.

Christine, be blessed. take on those sorts of things that give you life. you will be missed and i thank you for the friend that you are to me.

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