Monday, October 5, 2009

peace be still

It had been a monstrously busy day and we had seen so many things. You had a struggle with the Pharisees and your own family hadn't even understood what you were called to be doing (not that any of us understood that anyway). You healed all kinds of sick and you told a whole bunch of stories about the Kingdom of God (whatever that is) and as the day came near to ending the people still pressed you for more. Finally you said, "Let's go to the other side of the lake" and we could see the exhaustion in your eyes. The fishermen among us knew their way around a boat much more than I did so I tried to stay out of the way and soon we were under sail and underway. One of the problems was that we left in a hurry though. We had to hope we could land in some little cove on the other side so that we could go into a town and get some food, we didn't bring anything.
The lake (why do some call this a Sea anyway?) was really quiet and the sunset followed by starry skies was a beautiful thing to behold. You were so tired that you fell asleep in the stern while we sat together and spoke softly of all the things we had seen lately. The idyllic scene was not to remain though. Pretty soon a wild wind swooped down upon us and we were soon engulfed in a cyclonic storm that heaved the sea around like we were in the middle of an earthquake. The waves lashed up and over the sides of the boat so that it was already filling. I'm no good trying to help with sails so I tried to bail water out with my hands but it was coming in in buckets while I threw out handfuls.

and you slept.

Our world crashed around us and you were sleeping. I was beyond frightened, I don't belong on the water to begin with, I can barely swim ... and you slept. I was the first to say, "Wake Him up" but Simon didn't seem as scared as me and James looked only a bit worried. John came along beside me to try and calm me a little, but it didn't help. Then Andrew lost complete control of the sail and I must've gone straight white as a sheet (which is a considerable thing because I have a great tan). I could tell they loved Him and they didn't want to wake Him, but I was panicking and that spreads through a small group faster than a great secret.
We forgot who He was. We forgot what we had seen not only that day but also for the many days preceding it. Instead we rushed to wake the Lord of all things, the waker, the giver, the calmer.
Don't you care? Can't you see my world falling from around my ears? Do you see this wind and those waves? I'm dying here and you don't seem to care or to notice.

You said, "Why are you afraid Ian? Do you not realize who I am? Is the Lord of all things swamped by your petty battles and disagreements? Where is your faith? What have you seen and what do you believe you will continue to see?"

Peace be still and it was.

What kind of man am I following? He takes my apprehension, my anxiety, my fear and He brings the light of comprehension to it. This isn't just any man like the rest in this boat are and I wonder if I'm the one who has been asleep this entire time.

Lead on my Christ. I'm awake and I'll try to pay attention.


Everett said...

great story Ian. I like your imagination and writing, and your point is well taken. I have actually been on that "sea" and imagined that story taking place as well as when Jesus walked on water. How easy it is to worry, and yet so unhealthy and unnecessary! Thanks for the reminder.

jstainer said...

I just passed through a very stressful couple weeks and these kinds of stories are needed to anchor me back into "real" reality instead of the reality that I create in my head.

Great stuff Ian.